7 posts tagged “life”
How do you feel about your birthday? Do you look forward to it and remind all your friends, or do you dread it and try to keep it a secret?
Neither one - I just don't have them. People look at me oddly, but as I have only had five or six "birthday parties" in my life, I don't really see what all the fuss is about.
This does, however, sometimes cause problems. When I put down "April 1, 1066" as my birthday on the internal form at work, some folks missed the joke...
John
If you could get everyone in the world to change their behavior in one way, what would you have them do differently?
Submitted by Ross.
Oddly enough, this has been on my mind for some time in various versions. My preferred form is "If I could change one law (or regulation), what would it be?"
For kids:
TV commercials can only show the stuff you get in the package - no "multiple packages were used", no "some extra parts shown", no "must buy several toys to do this". Why? Because kids are easily fooled as consumers [1], and actually think that they'll get all that cool stuff when in fact what they get is a starter pack and have to shell out another $500 to get the same stuff that the commercial shows [2].
For drugs:
TV commercials have to show the average results, not the extraordinary ones. If a weight loss drug only helps you lose 2 pounds on average, then it shouldn't show folks that have lost 50. Why? Because people with problems are easily fooled as consumers [1], and actually think that they'll have those same extraordinary results.
For cars:
This is a toughy - either treat all cars/trucks/whatever as being one class for MPG purposes or change the TV commercials so that they can only show those actions in the car that won't get them sued. The latter is obvious, the former is to close those damn loopholes that make it permissible to classify a PT Cruiser as a light truck so it doesn't have to meet MPG regulations.
For government:
Any action of government can be challenged in court, whether or not the government wants to claim national security is at stake. Why? Because the US Government has use the "national security" dodge as a way to prevent accountability too often in the past. They have used it to cover up ecological disasters, rights violations, and their impaired decision making processes. Enough is enough; if the action is truly a matter of national security, thent he government should be willing to prove it rather than merely assert it. The former is the action of an honest government that represents its people; the latter is the hallmark of a regime more interested in preserving its power than its people.
For myself:
Laugh more.
John
[1] As are we all...
[2] And only then do they discover that the toy isn't as much fun as they thought.
Finish this sentence: "I am glad to say that I have never ___."
Submitted by chl*.
finished this sentence. Oh, damn!
John
Every so often, I run across someone with the perfect name for their job [1]. Recently, there's been a spate of them; the top three are:
Dr. Landsea - hurricane forecasting
Dr. Soden - sea level rise
Mr. Mercenari - accountant
What perfect names have you met?
John
[1] Which brings up the question - do they choose the job because of the name, or despite it?
It will come as no surprise to any casual reader of my blog that I do not think that life is fair. That's just the way things are; good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people. But it still sucks.
Take my two best friends [1]. My health has always been good; the worst problem I've ever had is a couple of broken bones [2]. But these two yabbos are both falling to pieces.
My first best friend, John, just had a heart attack followed quickly by a stay in the hospital where they diagnosed him with a blocked artery. One angioplasty later, he is in better shape but now has to drink a glass of wine each night [3,4]. He was afraid that this would keep him from our get-together over Labor Day, but his wife and doctor insisted that the rest would do him good [5].
So all was well, until yesterday.
You see, my other best friend, Ken, was pulled over a week ago for DUI. Except Ken doesn't - ever. So, after he was released from jail, he went to the doctor, who sent him to another doctor, who sent him straight to the MRI. Where they found a tumor pressing on his optic nerve. So now he's slated for surgery ASAP, with a follow-up of weeks of lovely chemo and radiotherapy treatments, just to make sure the damn thing stays dead.
Meanwhile, my most pressing problem is "plastic or paper?" at the supermarket.
As I said, life isn't fair. And that sucks.
John
[1] What? You don't have at least two best friends? What kind of an anchorite are you?
[2] The bout of blood poisoning last year doesn't count as it was just a freak occurrence that could have happened to anybody. Anyhow, this isn't about me - it is about them.
[3] He is also on my shit list, as he didn't tell me that he as in the hospital until it was all over and done with. In the words of my grandmother "You cheated me out of a chance to help!"
[4] I want a doctor like that!
Well, the car is fixed. Actually, it was fixed on Monday, but life has been busy (rewriting other people's proposals so that they fit into the required spaces, etc.).
When I called Monday morning, it looked as if things might go well; the person on the phone was prompt and polite. He gave me the name of the dealer's preferred tow company, and they called right away. And then, Monday hit.
The spring on the garage door broke, just as it was being opened so we could get the car out. Twenty minutes of grunting and cussing later, the tow-truck driver and I got the door open and the car onto the truck. We get to the dealer and there is nobody there to help - for twenty minutes. When someone does show up, he spends ten minutes typing into the computer before actually engaging me in conversation [1].
The customer service rep promised to get me a ride to work and then dismissed me from his mind. I waited in the service area for an hour, until he called me - on my cell phone. Surprised that I was still in the dealership, he still tried to tell me the car's problems on the phone! I hung up and walked over to him, where he told me that the problem was that the battery had a "broken cell" [2], and cracked belts, and a dirty filter. Mind you, I'd had the car in for a "100 point checkup" and 20,000 mile service less than two weeks before.
The rep seemed unhappy when I pointed out that I had had the car in two weeks ago and that none of those problems had appeared. He seemed even less happy when I had him just replace the battery and belts - but give me the parts [3]. And then he finally got me a ride to work.
When I went to pick the car up that afternoon, it ran like a champ and the repairs were only painful instead of being disastrous. So at least there's a moderately happy ending - though I've crossed that dealer off my list [4].
John
[1] This is one of my pet peeves. People are more important than devices. If someone calls while you are speaking to another person, let the answering service take the message. If you get an email, wait ten minutes to check it. And if you have a customer standing in front of you, say hello before you start clicking on the computer to check them in.
[2] Odd, but not impossible. It would explain why I got spark from the battery but not everything would work; the voltage was OK, but not the wattage.
[3] Free car work advice - if you think someone may be trying to pull a scam, tell them that you want the parts. It forces their hand and puts them on notice that you won't be cheated. (They can still cheat, but it takes more work.)
[4] Think it through. Either the first set of inspectors was sloppy or the second set was lying (I lean slightly to the second as the air filter had been replaced less than 5,000 miles before). Neither of these makes me want to return.
Well, life is trying to annoy the crap out of me once more [1]. Two weeks ago, I took my car in for its 22,500 mile checkup [2]. The dealer told me it was in great shape, no problems.
Friday, a co-worker tells me that he can't go to a promotion because of a funeral and asks me to fill in; "No problem, mate - family comes first, always." So he agrees to put all of the stuff I'll need into a hamper in my office and toddles off.
Saturday morning, I go out to start my car and get nothing but a horrible grinding noise that tells me the electrical system has fried itself. (Well, that and the fact that the driver's side window won't roll down but the others will.) OK, frustrating but not fatal. So I call Tony, the PR person who was going to meet me at the event, and bum a ride from him. I ride my bike into work so he can meet me there and we can pick up the stuff to give away. No problems, everything is running smoothly, as long as you don't count the four mile-long, no other exits available traffic jam that Tony runs into on the way to pick me up and the two traffic cops who decide to bring a funeral procession onto the highway so that everyone is forced to slow down to 40 mph that we run into on the way to the event.
Once we get to the event and unpack everything, we discover that it isn't everything. My co-worker forgot to include the T-shirts and free tickets that we were going to give away. So I'm left handing out flyers and coloring pages for three hours while i explain that, no, we're not the folks with the stamp that people need to win a prize.
On the way back, we run into the same traffic jam that Tony met the first time, which is six miles long by now. By the time I get back to my house and call the dealer, the service department is closed and the young lady on the phone is obviously more interested in her nails than in helping me get my car fixed.
"You'll have to call back on Monday to talk to the service department" she says.
"When will they be there?" I ask.
"Oh, you can reach them at 7 AM." [3]
So here it is on Sunday, my traditional day for buying the week's groceries. I have no way to get to the store to buy groceries (but do have lots of dried foods and frozen veggies, so I won't starve. Remember, the point of all of this is to aggravate me to death...). I was planning on going to see the new Potter movie, but have no way to get to the cineplex. And I had hoped to go look at a sailboat [4], but cannot.
Ah, well - at least I can still work on my textbook. I am completely rewriting the chapter on mineralogy to derive the ideas from thermodynamics rather than presenting them badly (is is more commonly done). It is slow going but may be very interesting when done [5] - assuming I'm not hit by lightning as I take the trash out...
John
[1] This, as the true connoisseur knows, is far worse than trying to piss someone off. Angering a person indicates that you at least care, whereas annoying them means that you just didn't even register that they existed. As a card-carrying solipsist, I find that incredibly offensive - it really pisses me off when someone annoys me. <GRIN>
[2] This should give you an idea of how much I drive - I've had that car for four years now.
[3] How should this conversation have gone? Like this:
"I'm sorry, but they closed today at noon. But if you call back Monday at 7 AM, you can reach them. Or if you'd like, I can connect you to their voice mail so that they'll have the message waiting fro them when they get in."
[4] The best exercise is one you will do. The best diet is one you will follow. And the best relaxation is one that you enjoy; sailing is a favorite.
[5] Anyone suggesting that this is the Universe's way of telling me to quit stalling and start writing will be flogged!
