17 posts tagged “humor”

Making a list, checking it twice... How's your holiday shopping going? Who's left on your list?

Just me; I always save the worst for last. (Now where's that anthracite? [1])

John

[1] That's a geology joke, because only us geology-types would think it was cool to get coal for Christmas.

Here’s a couple of news items demonstrating that being an officer of the court is not the same as having good judgment:

Circuit Judge David Viviano has allowed Scott T. Zielinski to sue the owner and employees of Nick's Party Stop. Scott had robbed the store but the employees then shot at him, chased him down and beat him.

Personally, I think the employees deserve a bonus – but I’ll bet they get fired for violating company policy [1].

Keith Bardwell has resigned after refusing to perform a marriage ceremony for an interracial couple [2]. Even though all bans against interracial marriage were struck down by the US Supreme Court in 1967 [3], this soi disant justice of the peace decided not to allow it in “his” parish [4]. He initially defended his decision, claiming that he was afraid for the children of any such union [5]; he only decided to step down after pressure was brought to bear by the governor and other ranking politicians. His final word on the subject? “I found out I can't be a justice of the peace and have a conscience”

Er, no, bud – you found out that you couldn’t be a justice of the peace and make up new laws to suit your personal prejudices.

John

[1] Most companies forbid employees from taking any action other than pushing the panic button during a robbery. Why? Because if the employees or bystanders get hurt while trying to foil the robbery, the store can be liable (as this suit demonstrates).

[2] My favorite quote from this character? “I needed to step down because they was going to take me to court, and I was going to lose." Kind of says it all, doesn’t it?

[3] Yet another clear example of an activist court making law that the people didn’t want and won’t stand for! Oh, wait – maybe they will…

[4] Louisiana was originally divvied up by Catholic missionaries and settled by French Acadians who had been kicked out of France for refusing to swear allegiance to the King of France and then kicked out of Canada for refusing to swear allegiance to the King of England; as a result, it is one of the two states without counties (Alaska has boroughs).

[5] Or perhaps “afraid of” might be more accurate…

And if you watch this video, you will, too!

I'll save you a seat by the fire!

John

GM_IKEA2

GM_IKEA

First - why haven't I posted those pictures yet? Because I've been busy, that's why. So there.

Second - a bit of humor, from one of my coworkers. It seems that Ikea will be taking over GM soon. Here is an image of the new business model

Finally - today Ken went to the MD Anderson center. They are one of the top cancer research and treatment facilities in the world, and everyone there from the volunteers running the information desk to the receptionists to the doctors and nurses go out of their way to show you what true professionalism is. They were unfailingly polite, patient, and capable [1]. They answered every question, no matter how trite, and no matter how many times we asked it. They understood that this is a stressful time for the patient and did their best to make it less stressful.

The upshot is that Ken has three options right now. First, he can go off of all the medicines and let the cancer run its course. The doctor gave him an optimistic three months if he does that [2]. Second, he can continue on the current regime, which has slowed the cancer but nothing else. The doctor gave him six to nine months if he does that. Third, he can go on the only clinical trial he is eligible for [3], which will require a weekly infusion of a six-drug cocktail with one week out of every four off for good behavior. Because this is a Phase I clinical trial, the infusions and check-ups will have to take place here in Houston [4]. With luck, he will last between a year and two years on this regime.

Ultimately, this is his decision. But I'll lay long odds that he goes for the clinical trial. After all, that's the only one that lets him go sailing in Florida this fall...

John

[1] Minor example: while I was in the waiting room, sitting around while Ken got evaluated for the trials, a patient went into a seizure. Within one minute, there were three nurses and two doctors by him, evaluating what needed to be done and doing it. Even more astonishingly, when the nurse over-ruled the doctors and told them that they didn't need the crash cart, the doctors said "OK" and let her get on with helping the patient. These folks are almost enough to get me over my phobia of hospitals!

[2] Admittedly, this estimate was given after I asked, as were the other two. But she was willing to tell us! Do you have any idea how many frickin' doctors get so set in their "god-like smartypants" [a] that they are unwilling to admit that they might not be able to beat the disease?

[3] They were honest and fair on this one, too. They told him that because of the type of cancer (glioblastoma multiforme) and because of the amount of damage (60% mobility and dropping), there is no cure. All they can do is extend his life, not save it.

[4] Fortunately, he already has a place to stay while they do this. It even has a ground-floor bedroom - how lucky is that?

[a] Geek points (for anyone except QoFB [i]) for the source!

[i] Who is ineligible because she introduced me to the source...

And none of it to do with me!

Good news: They are putting out new Red Dwarf episodes.

Bad news: There will only be three of them (unless there is an overwhelming fan response).

Bad news: They are remaking Clash of the Titans.

Good news: At least it will have Liam Neeson...

John
(Who will post about his trip just as soon as he finishes doing his taxes. No refund this year, so there is no urgency to get the paperwork done.)

Today is "Something on a Stick Day." So go for it... show us something on a stick!

The only thing on a steek worth thinking about...

John

March 22nd is "As Young as You Feel Day," so show us something that makes you feel young.

I would but this is a family blog...

John

If people that peep are peepers, and people that hit are hitters, then what does that make the people who "twitter"?

And more humor, from SciGuy's blog, where he posted the following question:

 "If you could get rid of any one invention, what would it be?"

Automated attendant telephone systems. Whether the ones that call you and tell you to hold for the next available person or press 1 for English, etc. When I call a business or they call me, I want to talk to a person that speaking English.

John

A little song to brighten the occasion.

John

A couple of jokes from my sister. First, a notification about the State of the Union:

Notification Alert:

Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, oil,
as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel
has been turned off.

We apologize for the inconvenience.

And now, simple physics made phun:

John